


Smooth Talker

by Storyflight



Series: Rantaro X Kirumi Week """2018""" [3]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Fluff, Iruma Miu's Dirty Mouth, Minor Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu - Freeform, Minor Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Nonbinary Amami Rantaro, Other, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 16:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyflight/pseuds/Storyflight
Summary: Both Kaito and Miu gave them a supportive look, however, they were extremely unconvinced. Kaito, the Ultimate Astronaut with a girlfriend who could snap anyone’s neck with no effort...not to mention that he’s been called an idiot to almost everyone (Rantaro does not understand why...he’s smart as hell). Miu, the Ultimate Inventor with a girlfriend of her own and known for saying anything sexual every other sentence.These two are going to help Rantaro, Ultimate Adventurer who was the worst when it comes to romantic feelings and flirting.This is going to be a fun ride.---Rantaro is terrible with romantic feelings and crushing on Kirumi hard. Miu and Kaito help them out





	Smooth Talker

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy campers, welcome to my Earth Day gifts to myself, Part 2/2  
I am old enough to have a drinky-drink in the USA
> 
> This was supposed to be posted hours ago but I ended up getting busy. Anyway, AMATOJO TIME!!
> 
> It's canon that Rantaro is not familiar with romantic/sexual things, not 100% oblivious but never really gets to the nitty-gritty. Which means, my chance to have Rantaro unable to flirt for sh*t.
> 
> This fic is pretty old but I finished it up!! Fun fic to work on...v lighthearted too

“Look at them, twitterpated”

Rantaro heard the muttering closeby and paid them no mind. They kept picking their fork in the rice, breaking it down and turning it into white mush.

“They can’t even fucking hear us”

“Yo Amami! Can I slap your ass?”

“Ran-fucking-taro, Kokichi is right behind you. Oh no, they have their love-pods in!”

“You know I can hear you two, right?”

Kaito and Miu rolled their eyes.

“Sure, as you’re distracted by the super-hot maid Mommy over there!” Miu wrapped one arm around their shoulder, “I’m sure her bod is great under that dress!”

“I’m...not really into that. Although she is…” their voice trailed off when they gazed at Kirumi again. She wasn’t even eating, the maid was giving out seconds to anyone who wants them.

“She’s so beautiful…”

“So, are you going to ask her out or not?” Kaito asked, “I’m pretty sure she’s super into you too!”

“I don’t think she’s into  _ anyone  _ unless it’s her status as a maid. I don’t want to get in the way with that…”

“Rantaro, the myth and legend, best ass in the class, also one of the hottest, my badest bitch. I can assure you that Kirumi would start blushing when someone mentions you. I’m being FUCKING honest, Kaede and Kokichi told me themselves”

Rantaro sighed with uncertainty. “You said Kokichi, and I dou—“

They stopped when they noticed someone staring at them. Kirumi stopped giving out the food and looking at Rantaro with a strange look, they couldn’t tell what kind. The Adventurer gave her a kind smile. Kirumi raised her shoulders and looked away.

“See? She looked away”

“She looked away because…” Kaito gave their back a small shove, “Your smile is like the sun! You can’t stare at it ‘cause it’s so bright!!”

“Kaito…” They appreciate the support from him. Kaito leaned closer to Rantaro, who still had one arm wrapped around them and patting their chest.

“Hey, don’t worry, the two of us will help you get that hot cleaning lady” the inventor beamed. 

Both Kaito and Miu gave them a supportive look, however, they were extremely unconvinced. Kaito, the Ultimate Astronaut with a girlfriend who could snap anyone’s neck with no effort...not to mention that he’s been called an idiot to almost everyone (Rantaro does not understand why...he’s smart as hell). Miu, the Ultimate Inventor with a girlfriend of her own and known for saying anything sexual every other sentence.

These two are going to help Rantaro, Ultimate Adventurer who was the worst when it comes to romantic feelings and flirting.

This is going to be a fun ride. 

After lunch, Miu and Kaito pulled Rantaro along to the next class. None of them had any tedious work, so the three stayed together and came up with awful...awful ideas for this plan.

“Say you want her to top you” Miu stated, “I mean...I wouldn’t blame anyone if they think so”

“Nah! They have to be smooth” Kaito retorted, “Lean on the lockers, give her  _ the nod _ and say ‘Sup’. Oh! YOU GOTTA DO THE SMIRK!”

Miu raised her eyebrows. “Yooo, that’s not bad, you know Rantaro has a sexy smirk”

“I’m not doing any of that!”

They give Miu and Kaito props for trying.  _ But none of that is me! I wouldn’t want to make a fake impression. _

“I’ll come up with something soon”

Miu shook her head. “We will think of something now, damnit! But we should be quiet so we don’t get others stealing our ideas...or your girl”

The Adventurer clicked their tongue. “She’s not my girl, Miu”

Once that class was over, Kaito had the smart idea of stopping by the lockers and asking them to try the “Lean n Smirk”. Yup, that’s what he called it. Once again, Rantaro rejected the offer.

“This isn’t an 80s high school romance movie”

“Alright! Then…” It was Miu’s turn to comment. Rantaro began to embrace themselves for impact.

_ “You know how I’m the Ultimate Adventurer, right? How about I use my talent to take a trip in your—“ _

“NNNOOOOO, MIU! WE ARE STOPPING YOU RIGHT THERE. NOOOOO!” Rantaro’s voice cracked with every single word, how attractive. 

It was Kaito’s turn to confess his opinion. “Miu! That’s WAY too dirty to say! This is Kirumi, remember that!”

“She could be a huge freak”

“I— that...would make sense why she hates being called Mom beca—“

“No! STOP while we are ahead!” they couldn’t stop blushing from Miu’s previous comment. The inventor smirked at them mischievously.

“Come on, you’re the Ultimate  _ Adventurer _ , that can apply to many things, you know~”

“Okay, but I’m not going that direction. Let’s...Let’s drop everything you two mentioned and take baby steps. Can I at least work on getting her number?”

“You...don’t have her number?”

“She never uses her phone” Rantaro added in, “I can ask for that...and go from there”

“So cliche! Ask her out on a date! You could take her to Italy, doesn’t she want to go?! Or for something simple...take her to dinner!!” Miu crossed her arms, “That’s what Kaede and I did!”

“After both of you started crying and such because you both thought you hated one another and lying about feelings…”

“RANTARO!”

“You two what?!”

And now Kaito and Miu went on talking about that whole incident. At least they are no longer the centre of attention.

_ Why does this have to be so difficult?! Maybe if I just say “Hey, I like you” then I would be done! But maybe being too forward isn’t a good idea… _

Rantaro took out their phone while the two kept on arguing. Maybe Shuichi will have some ideas, he would have reasonable advice.

  
  


**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** Yo

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** Hey!

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** I need Shuichi, not you

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** Why do you need Shuichi???

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** Hello, Kaede

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** Hi! Have you seen Miu?

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** She’s with me and Kaito. They’re talking about whatever.

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** They were trying to help me ask Kirumi out but that failed

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** The fact that you went to them is such a stupid idea…

**Trans Redtail Agenda: ** What's going on?

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** Hello!

**Trans Redtail Agenda: ** Hi, Kokichi

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** Rantaro is to chicken to ask Kirumi out

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** Kaede!!

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** I am NOT wrong! Just ask her out on a movie! Her birthday is coming up and Detective Pikachu comes out the same day!

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** Oh she would love to see that, and that’s not a lie

**Trans Redtail Agenda: ** Take it slow!! You know how...both of you are...not the romantic type

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** DONT REMIND ME!!

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** Guys She’s just so beautiful and perfect and I galdgsodhdpdhd she would never want to be with someone like me

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** I’m like that one verse in the song “Trampoline”

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** AND WHO WOULDVE THOUGHT THAT A CUTIE PIE JUST LIKE YOU

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** WOULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A SMELLY THUDE LIKE ME

**Trans Redtail Agenda: ** THUDE ASDFGHJLKL

  
  


“Yo! Rantaro!!”

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** OKAY THANK YOU I will ask her if she wants to go to the movies.

“Raaaantaroooooo”

**Nonbinary Fallen Leaves Agenda: ** I’ll talk to you guys later!! Miu is calling me. 

Rantaro closed their phone. “Alright, Wh—“

It was Kaito, Miu, and  _ Kirumi. _

“W-W-Whhhh” Rantaro’s blood ran cold. “W-When did you g-get here?!”

“Oh...well, I came to tell Kaito and Miu to be quiet. They were rather loud, it did not bother you?”

“No…? I blame Kaede, Shuichi, and Kokichi. “I was texting them”

“About WHAT?!” Miu leaned forward and rested her elbow on Kirumi’s shoulder, “Care you talk about it~”

“Miu, we shouldn’t try to force them—“

“No, it’s fine” After all, Rantaro needs to drop a hint about their feelings. “I have...a request for you, Kirumi”

She raised her eyebrow. Miu and Kaito smirked at them.  _ Oh god, don’t mess up, I can do this! I’m a strong legend! _

“I’m The Ultimate Adventurer!” They blurted out.

Miu slammed her palm on her face with a groan.

“I...I know that?” Kirumi narrowed her eyes, “How does that relate to your request?”

“Wait no! Uh…” What was next? The smirk? Yeah! Nervously, they gave an attempted of a smirk.

It was Kaito’s turn to facepalm.

“...It looks like you’re about to sneeze...are you okay? I still don’t know your request. I cannot serve if you do not give me a proper task”

“HOLD ON!”

They had to be themselves, they cannot use the advice Miu and Kaito gave them for now. It failed, so they have to fall back to their tactics.

They’re not romantic, but damn they will try.

Rantaro took out their phone again, unlocked it, and put their notifications on  _ Do Not Disturb.  _

“Fill out this survey for me, please?”

That’s when Rantaro held out their phone, displaying the “New contact” option with everything blank. They did it, they actually did it.

_ And I was so smooth with it. Thirds time the charm! _

Kirumi looked down at the phone with no response. She did not speak, move, not even blink. After a singular blink, Kirumi’s cheeks grew red.

“A-Ah?”

“Daaaaaaammmmnnnnnn” Miu and Kaito said in unison. 

“Wait...you’re asking for my number?”

“Yea…?” 

“Rantaro...I’m flattered but…” she snickered, “You already  _ have  _ my number!”

_ Ah. _

_ Motherfucker... _

Rantaro felt their confidence drain. All of it fell on the ground and into goop. That was a complete failure, that was so  _ stupid!  _ Making that move and for what?!

“I-I do…?”

“You needed it when you were leaving for Mexico. You never texted me and I never did the same. However…”

Kirumi pulled out her phone and typed something. “Check your messages”

**Asexual Hollyleaf Agenda: ** You messaged the wrong group, I saw your talk wanting to ask me out, Fallen Leaves

**Trans Redtail Agenda: ** F

**Trans Lesbian Mothwing Agenda: ** F

**Gay Runningwind Agenda: ** F

“PFFFFTTTAHAHAHAHA!! RANTARO!! OH MY GOD!!” Miu went full hyena mode, this was the funniest thing in the world to her. Kaito tagged along with her crazy moment.

“Oh my god, I...Kirumi I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that! It’s—“

“It’s fine, the fact that you tried is rather thoughtful. I...would love to see Detective Pikachu with you though”

_ MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! YOU WON KIRUMI TOJO! _

“We will consider it a date but...I’m not sure if I’m ready to be in a relationship”

_ OKAY, YOU GOT A PART OF IT! BRONZE STATUE! _

“Hey, I understand. I wasn’t going to force anything like that on you. As long as I’m able to spend time with you and you’re taking a break, I’m fine”

“...Once I’m ready, I’ll let you know. After all...if I were to date anyone, no doubt it would be you”

“Holy fucking shit” Miu and Kaito whispered. 

And at that moment, they witnessed Kirumi break character. She bounced up on her toes and held on to their hands.  _ Oh my god, she’s cute as hell?! How can she be so beautiful yet so cute?! Her face is so close to mine...I want to kiss her adorable cheeks. _

“I’ve been wanting to see Detective Pikachu for so long! I was happy to see it was coming out on my birthday! Thank you so much for the offer! I’m excited to spend the whole day with you! I have to go now, I'll see you later? Goodbye!"

Kirumi kisses their cheek and hurried off. The kiss lasted for a split second, maybe shorter, but it felt like an entirety for Rantaro.

“Oh my gooooood, Rantaro!” Miu laughed, “You fucked up so much and it worked! No one could do that!! Are you the Ultimate Lucky Student instead?!”

“Give me TIPS!”

“.....ehehehehe…” Rantaro pretended to drop the mic as they’re still drunk in love, “B-Boom…”

**Author's Note:**

> Them.


End file.
